SANDY

5 THINGS THAT SCARE ME ABOUT NYC 1. HOMELESS/CRAZY PEOPLE. I'M SORRY I'M SORRY GOSH, I KNOW THEY'RE IN NEED OF HELP BUT DEY SCARE ME SOMETIMES OK?! I'M A HELPLESS DEFENSELESS 22 YEAR OLD GIRL AND MY PEPPER SPRAY CONNECT HASN'T COME THROUGH YET AND MY MOM DIDN'T SIGN ME UP FOR TIGER SCHULMANNS WHEN I WAS A TOT. I ALWAYS GOTTA KEEP MY WINDOWS UP AND DOORS LOCKED WHEN I'M DRIVING TIN THE CITY BECAUSE HOMELESS PEOPLE LOVE COMING TU TO MY CAR AT RED LIGHTS AND DANCING AND TALKING (TRUE STORY)2. SUBWAY. I HOPE THERE ARE CASE STUDIES ABOUT SUBWAYS BECAUSE PEOPLE JUST CHANGE IN THOSE UNDERGROUND CARS. AS SOON AS YOU STEP IN THOSE DOORS I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE IS GOING TO YISYOUGETSLAPPEDIFYOULOOKINGHOE SLAP ME IF I LOOK AT THEM. IT IS AN UNSAID RULE TO PUT YOUR BEST EMOTIONLESS FACE ON AND LOOK LIKE YOU ARE UNAWARE THAT THERE IS A FULL BLOWN MARIACHI BAND PLAYING IN THE CAR. 3. CHILDREN INTERNATIONAL SOLICITOR. I MEAN THEY DON'T REALLY SCARE ME THEY JUST ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF ME. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY COME UP TO YOU ALL UNSUSPECTING AND ISH. THEY'LL BE LIKE "HEY, CAN I USE YOUR LIGHTER?" AND THEN BE LIKE "HEY, CAN YOU SAVE SOME CHILDREN?" AW HELLS NO. RUN!! WELCOME SCALLYWAGS AND SCOUNDRELS...THIS PORTAL IS A MANIFESTATION OF EVERYTHING THAT GOES THROUGH OUR MINDS AT THE SPEED OF WI-FI...WHAT YOU'LL FIND HERE ARE THINGS WE THINK ARE COOL OR DOPE OR WHATEVER OTHER ADJECTIVES WE MAY USE TO DECCRIBE THE THING WE LIKE....ERGO... THIS MORNING I WALK OVER TO NEGROS HOUSE TO WAKE HIM UP SO WE CAN GO TO TRAINING WITH RED CROSS, AND HIS PARROT BITE ME, CLAMP DOWN HARD AND DRAW BLOOD, THEN WE WAIT FOR ONE HOUR ON A BUS THAT NEVER COME, AFTER THAT WE HAVE ENGLISH LESSON AND A SONG COME ON THE RADIO BY PUDDLE OF MUD, PANA ASKS, "QUE SIGNIFICA, SHE FUCKING HATES ME" AND I JUST TELL HIM WELL THAT MEAN SHE DON'T LIKE YOU VERY MUCH.